Our Story
It was a cold summer day about 1.14 decades ago, on a night not unlike tonight, in a town not unlike this one, with people who might just seem familiar to you. An autumn breeze blew swiftly through the trees, which was strange because as I said earlier, it was summer. Much too early for autumn breezes. The stage was set (due to the strange weather and all) for something historic. Something unordinary would be born that day; something that would be remembered for ages and beyond. Batboy. But as coincidence would have it, also that day Jessica and Doug began on an adventure that neither expected to take them this far. Or take this long. Or be this full of ninjas.
It all started innocently enough with a telephone call. Not a cellular based one, mind you, but the variety that connects two receivers and microphones with a physical length of cable miles long. While first-hand accounts of this faithful conversation have since been long lost, it is believed to have gone something like this.
With the contract signed and notarized, the two set off on a set of high stake adventures to exotic locales such as a consortium of local traders and a park devoted almost entirely to amusements. These were truly the days of hedonism.
With the Dog Days of summer and immature high school romance behind them the two quickly matured and moved onto better things, leaving behind everything and everyone that they ever loved and never looking back. Onwards to Keene they sped. Of course, the safe and morally bound Keene of today is nothing like it was back then. It was a different time then; a decade paints a different picture. It was a time when two people in love could barely walk the streets at night without fear of retribution for all the terrible things they were responsible for earlier that day. Nary a day went by without a monkey knife fight or a duel to defend one’s lady’s honor. Alas, these glorious days of pillaging could not last forever. Not long after their arrival, Jessica and Doug were asked to leave by a very convincing group of townsfolk carrying an assortment of farm tools and sticks on fire.
It is here, unfortunately that the writings get a bit garbled (to use a technical term). The two either spent the next few years traveling around the globe in an assortment of dirigibles, sky-boats and hot air baloons capturing and studying rare animals such as the fantastipotamus and feathered velociraptor or they watched a lot of Whose Line is It Anyway. Whatever it was that actually happened, the two will tell you (if you ask them politely enough) that everyone deserved it. And also that without any need for reflection, these were indeed happy times.
The next step in this invasive tale of personal privacy gone awry, was of course the procurement of a domicile in which they could call their own. Trading their last cow for a sack of magic beans, Doug managed to use the magic beans to trick a carny into giving up his house. It really sounds more fantastic than it actually was. The real tricky part was getting the documents drafted that would make it legal. Once the loving couple settled in (and got out that corn-dog and WD40 smell) they managed to capture a set of guard-cats to ensure protection from Egyptian mummies, ghosts, sorcerers and curse-hurling gypsies.
Time passed slowly then for life was good and people were excellent to each other. It wasn’t long then (11 years from initiation to be exact) that Doug asked Jessica to draw a close to this part of their lives and begin anew, this time legally bound to all of the promises they had made to each other over the years. After just enough hesitation to last a commercial break, Jessica answered yes and fulfilled all of Doug’s dreams in one fell swoop.
It is here today that we find ourselves; not at the end of our story, but at the end of what I’m able to tell. With the forthcoming trading of each others’ promises and each others’ souls, Jessica and Doug’s tale, a tale wrought with intrigue and suspense, will surely be one looked upon with reverence for all of time.